That Drifting Excrement Was Way Too Symbolic! These Are the Television Letdowns of the Past Year.
As we reflect on the TV landscape of the recent year, a handful of shows emerge not for their brilliance, but for their spectacular failures. From cringe-inducing spin-offs to confusingly bad documentaries, here are the productions that had us scratching our heads or just reaching for the remote.
And Just Like That
How to start with this love/hate spin-off? Burdened with woeful writing, cringe-inducing arcs (we demand better for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the series fought to find its footing. Briefly, as the third series began, it looked like it had finally hit its stride. Then came an installment centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the showrunner announced this would be the last series. It ended on a bum note; the lingering shot of Miranda’s toilet full of poo was simply too symbolic. Yet, viewers undeniably found joy dissecting every single “what on earth?” moment. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – twirled around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't release a small sob?
All’s Fair
‘Can Kim Kardashian act? The answer is a resounding no.’
But that was practically the smallest of this show's problems. The subject of a very rare no-star review, it was hard to know where to begin enumerating the flaws. The hilariously wooden dialogue? The tedious veneration of affluence and materialism? The seemingly wilful procession of cliches? Acting so poor they felt almost spiteful? Suffice it to say “all of the above” and never speak of this show again. Except, a second season has been commissioned, so we’re likely going to have to.
The Charlie Sheen Documentary
Considering the legal troubles, abuse claims and fatherly failures, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not you’d truly have known it from this three-part docuseries which chuckled along at Sheen’s various bouts of reckless excess while failing to tell us anything we weren't already aware of. Instead, it felt as if this loose cannon was being indulged, so any pity this series might induce should be saved for the people who have had to suffer close contact with this charming but dismissive egotist.
The Supercomputer Drama
Of course we knew it was ridiculous from the outset: a drama about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or destroy all of humanity. We persevered out of sheer love for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One barely cared when his character died, and the other ended up slicing Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. Talk about giving up the ghost.
MobLand
Shady characters convening in empty boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its crime drama back.
In truth, that is harsh on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many look a bit dated now, but at least they didn’t suffer the ignominy of having to accommodate baffling dialects. But there were plenty of other issues. Mainly that it was just profoundly dull; a dispute over narcotics territory between various cockney picaresques which felt a bit basic.
The Meghan Markle Series
Given the extent to which she grinds the gears of certain ostentatiously enraged commentators, it’s almost tempting to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s various ventures into quaint homemaking as intentional statements. But then you watch them and are forced to admit that actually, they might have a point. It’s like watching a homeware magazine come to life; a poster for evening drinks with ideas of grandeur; a procession of snoozing dogs, buzzing beehives, sentimental platitudes and forgettable crafting “tips” you’ll forget instantly. All supported by vast, largely unearned wealth. Ugh.
Victoria Beckham
There are clearly fascinating things to be said about regarding Victoria Beckham and her struggles with career, self-image, self-worth. But for whatever reason, this documentary series chose not to say them. Instead, the experience was akin to consuming a marketing catalogue. She obviously has every right to bridle at what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But unfortunately, she failed to do herself any helps with this guarded letdown of a series.
The Inheritance
It should have been the next cultural phenomenon – except even camper, with a glamorous star as a deceased benefactor and a well-known personality overseeing her estate. What more could you ask for? As players battled it out, there was plenty of backstabbing and squabbling. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s even now too complicated to explain what exactly was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw glimpses of the star via prerecorded videos. The series ended up smelling of a programme that was straining desperately to emulate something far greater than it.
The Lena Dunham Romcom
How does one follow a show that captured a generation? The pressure was immense for this glitzy romcom about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who lands in London with a broken heart. The star took her biggest role by the horns and was joyous to watch, reveling in Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very slick and, ironically, was insufficient. Plus, the abundance of famous cameos involved felt icky.
Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping
Not even good enough to be ‘patchy’.
Given the shrewd recruitment of gifted younger comics, hopes were high. But unhappily, most of it fell flat. A particular sketch was a single joke stretched to a dry pulp but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a familiar irate mode. The writing room sketches, in contrast, simply provoked the idea that they should probably have remained in there a bit longer.
The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox
This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely showcased the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an compelling drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The subject matter needed to be treated with care. Rather, the series struggled painfully to find the right tone, lumbering from oddly jaunty, somewhat stylised farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Twisted? Arguably. A total mess? Absolutely.
The Maths Genius Thriller
We love the lead actor … but did we buy him playing the greatest maths genius in history, a man so intelligent he’s on the brink of a breakthrough that could ruin society? Nope! This international thriller about secret services spying on – and eliminating – academics frankly got more farcical by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.
1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story
This uncritical portrait followed the content creator renowned for sexual escapades as she prepared for her biggest feat yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we craved was way more examination of her actual psychology, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have spoken to the legendary mum who showed up to haul her son out of the queue. What we got was horrific shots and zero critical analysis of her notoriety whatsoever. And to think, the filmmaker has a teenage daughter too.
